Happy Birthday

Today is my 28th birthday. I was born on May 25th 1982. I like my birth year, because it makes subtraction easy for when I forget how old I am. I like the day because I share it with a great man. My sister began dating a guy when we lived in South Knoxville. His name was Robby. I was a young impressionable kid. I had never been around an older guy besides my father, grandfathers, uncles, etc. Robby was a big guy. Yes I mean this in a figurative way, he was very overweight. He was also bigger than life. He drove a big ass tank of a car. It had speakers that would rattle the windows of the house. He smiled a lot. He had the most peculiar laugh. More of a titter, a tee hee, but with a giggle. He was in high school at Gatlinburg-Pittman. He was so cool, and I instantly had a “big brother”. I did the annoying little brother thing of trying to hang around all of the time. I know it got on my sisters nerves, but Rob never seemed to mind. At least maybe in my idolizing mind, it just seemed that way. Rob would joke, he would cut up, he would rib me. He was also terrified of my dad and respectful of my mom. He and my sister dated for a long time. They broke up, got back together, and broke up over and over. A typical high school relationship. Unfortunately, it was destined to not work out. Though Rob was around for a long time, they eventually split for good, but stayed in contact and remained good friends. He still loved her, I could tell that later in the years when he would talk about her.

My favorite thing about Rob “The Boyfriend Years” – Rob, was a huge football fan. He knew the entire roster of the New Orleans Saints. It blew my mind that he rooted for a team that he had no connection to. He is the reason I found it ok to root for Alabama in a house full of Tennessee fans. So because he was a Saints fan, I became a Saints fan. I got a roster pack of trading cards. When he showed up one day, I thought “Boy, Rob is gonna think this is cool!” So I pulled out the cards, said, “Hey Rob, check it out. I got these cards, it even has a Bobby Hebert card.” Now when I said this, I said it as HE-BURT, instead of with the appropriate “Nawlins” dialect of AI-BEAR. Rob began to laugh, and I swear it lasted for 30 minutes. From that point on, I was Bert. Like Reynolds or Lancaster. He never called me Mark, Markie, etc. It was always Bert. For those first couple of weeks it was Bert, followed by the tittering laugh.

Rob always battled his weight issue. It eventually got to the point that he was unable to drive and spent a lot of time in his house. I hadn’t stayed in constant contact with him, but we reconnected after I moved up to Pigeon Forge and began working at a hotel. I hung out with him a lot. I talked to him on the phone, he was my family away from family. I would spend entire days at his house, watching TV, messing with people on WebTV chat, smoking, and talking. We talked about all kinds of stuff. We were the “What If…” types of guys. “Dude, wouldn’t it be cool if…”

Rob got his first computer, a Dell. I introduced him to file sharing. We downloaded so much music that first week. We must have went through a 20 pack of CDs. He would laugh at the random movie quotes that I would put in between songs. That was mostly what the computer was used for. Downloading music, mostly old skool R&B, Rap, some Rock, new Hip Hop, and movie quotes. We’d sometimes go out in his SUV. A Chevy Suburban with a 454. He couldn’t drive, but I could. He’d sit in the passenger seat, we’d get it washed, then burn a tank of gas driving around, listening to music, visiting his friends, and such. That truck was a fuckin beast. It had so much power and he loved showing off to people. We’d sit in his house, smoke, bullshit, mess with his cats Druff (A white cat, as in Dandruff) and Sooty (A black cat, as in coal soot) and just be friends. He stopped just being my sister’s ex. He became my friend. He was there for me no matter what.

I went to a party on Ski Mountain. It was my 3 girl friend’s birthdays, all being celebrated together. The first night, my friend Sarah (where do I start) got very drunk. I literally had to watch over her, as there were less than savory guys that were attempting to use this to their advantage. I didn’t drink, just so someone had a level head. Well, technically Stace didn’t drink either, but that’s because she was like 7 months pregnant. The place got DESTROYED. There were fights, naked drunk girls passed out everywhere, the pool balls were thrown into the woods, the hot tub had no water left in it, but some yellowish fluids with shit floating in it. The next night was supposed to be chill, take it down a notch. Next thing you know, this girl who I loved for years and would do anything for is topless in a hot tub making out with a guy that she didn’t know, oblivious to the risk she was taking. I lost it. I couldn’t watch it. I left. It was 4 in the morning, raining, and I was in a Mini-Van. Needless to say I slid most of the way down Ski Mountain. I got into Gatlinburg and thought “Well shit, now what am I gonna do? I can’t go home, it’s too late/early.” (Dad’s rule) I called Rob. “Dude, can I come over, I have had a shitty night and I just need a space to crash for a couple of hours.” 10 mins later, we’re sitting in his living room, smokin a bit, so I would calm down. Rambling about how much I love her and how she couldn’t give a shit about it. How I will always be stuck in the “Friend Zone”. Rob told me, I’ll never forget it, that “Bert, you have to make her realize. You need to tell her. You can’t let that stay like it is, it’ll bother you forever.” He went back to bed and I curled up in his oversized leather recliner and went to sleep. The next day, I didn’t take his advice. Hell, I still haven’t taken his advice. Never did tell her. Too late now, we don’t speak. He was right, of course. As painful as the possibility of rejection is, I wish I would have taken that advice and just told her. For the record, it still does bother me.

When I needed $500 bucks to get an engine for a car, Rob had it. “No problem, Bert, come over after work.” He was a giver. He would do anything for me. I could have asked him for anything and if it was in his power, I have no doubt that he would have done it.

Rob got gastric bypass. He dropped weight like crazy. Unfortunately, he got an infection and on February 22, 2004 Rob passed away. I had moved jobs, and moved houses. I wasn’t in contact with him like I had been. I didn’t even know he was sick. I never got to say goodbye to him. It still bothers me. I have never grieved for him. I think it’s because I never got to tell him thank you for all that he did, so I’ve never wanted to accept it. The way he influenced my life, the great times we had. His sage like advice followed up with a “Shruh Shruh Shruh” and a flutter of the hand. His crazy fuckin neighbor, code-named ”3D or Da Da Dee” for the way that he would trail off and instead of saying “Etcetera” he’d say “Da Da Dee, Da Da Daa” The Burban. The LX Mustang (LX_Tasy). The Cordoba. The cats. His crazy family. His love of my sister. The fact that I don’t think we ever had an argument (outside of him bitchin at me for being mean to Tish when I was younger). I wish I could have had the chance to tell him that he was a great person. I am sorry that he had to go. I don’t know if I believe in any afterlife, but if there is one I hope I get to see him again…

Daniel Robert Ogle would have been 34 today. Happy Birthday, Robby. I miss you.

- Bert

No Longer Am I LOST

First of all, ***SPOILERS ALERT*** Though honestly, if you haven’t seen it, you might just wanna read this and save yourself 2 1/4 hours of euphoria, and 1/4 hour of pure rage.

SON OF A BITCH! That’s bullshit.

My first response to “The End” episode, the FINALE of a show that has taken quite a bit of time outta my life. I have watched from the first season. I stuck with it through a lot. Everyone else in my household dropped out. They couldn’t do it anymore. They couldn’t take the constant questions. I knew that it was just building toward a glorious end.

Yes, I strayed for a season. Season 5 actually. It was less to do with frustrations from the show and more with the fact that I just didn’t watch TV for a bit. I was coaxed back. For a last hoo-rah, I agreed. The final season. The answers to all of the questions that had been presented. The resolution to characters, conflicts, and questions. The FUCKING END. This would be the season to watch. This would be the chance to go back to all of those nay-sayers and scoff at their lack of faith. “You should have stayed, now you have to depend on DVD.”  So I read up on Season 5, watched the Season 6 kick-off show to get re-acquainted, and started with “LA X” the first episode of Season 6. The heroes are on the plane. They don’t crash, they make it! Hoooooray! Meanwhile, the Island is still happening. So you have The Island (Main Story) and you have The “Side Story” going on at the same time. In the Side Story, things are “normal” Jack still lost his father’s body, Locke lost his Knives, Hurley is not unlucky, Charlie almost died on the plane while trying to swallow a baggie of heroin, Kate is in custody, Sawyer is coming back from murdering the man that he believe responsible for his parents murder/suicide, Jin and Sun are not happy and Jin has a lot of money on him that gets confiscated, Sayid is going to find his girl (who turns out to be married to his brother), etc, etc.

I am not going to get into the details of the season, because honestly, if you are reading this, you probably watched it. If you didn’t watch it, you just like to read a man as he falls apart at the seams. So here’s what I am gonna do. I am going to list what I though was happening/was going to happen, and the actual resolution (if available).

The Sideline (aka Alt Reality, Bizarro World):

My Thoughts: This was the reward for resolving the conflict of the island (see below) This was the lives of people who were affected by the island going on as if they never crashed. This is what their lives would have been like. The lives of almost everyone at the beginning of this time were better. Hurley is happy and lucky, using his money to help people (as he likes to do). Jack has a son and is resolving being in his father’s shadow. Claire is going to decide to keep the baby, when she finds out that she has family to help her (Jack). Claire was going to prove herself innocent, as she has always maintained she is. Charlie would get clean and find rock and roll success in America. Locke would learn to walk again with Jack’s help and marry his fiance’. Sayid would resolve that Nadia was happier and maybe meet Shannon and have lil baby terrorists. Sawyer would eventually meet Juliet for coffee, and they would fall in love.

What really happened: The side line was a dream state, like the Matrix, where they all lived until they were ready to move on to the afterlife. That’s right, they’re all dead. ALL OF THEM. They are dead, living in a purgatory-like state that they SOMEHOW CREATED. The Side Line had absolutely nothing to do with the Island time line, it is all a bunch of dream-like bullshit. Yay. Thanks for getting me emotionally involved in a “happy” story only to RIP IT AWAY with thinly veiled Religious mumbo-jumbo.

The Island:

My Thoughts: The Island is an experiment in the inherent good/evil of people. You have a guiding figure for both sides. Jacob is the “good” guys. He is the benevolent, softly smiling, understanding patient “Deity/God/Angel/Spirit/Fairy/Dragon” that believe that good will win out over evil. He is there to keep MIB in check. MIB (Man In Black, no, not Johnny Cash) is the dark side. He’s the bad guy, he’s the Vader/Dr.Doom/Darksied of the equation. He’s the quick to anger, pissed off, scowling, rough-looking ”Deity/God/Demon/Spirit/Fairy/Dragon” he is there to prove that the hearts and souls of men are black as his finely knit shirt. The idea is that they bring a group of people on this island through whatever means possible (boat/plane crash/corporate outing/scouting trip) and pit them against the 2 ideas on the island. MIB is obviously the bad guy, because he is so quick to kill and he radiates fear. He wants your help to get off the island, but this goody-two-shoes Jacob doesn’t want him to leave, he doesn’t want to be proved wrong. No MIB isn’t bad, he’s just misunderstood. Jacob wants you to help keep MIB on the island. Even though doing so may cost you personal relationships, pain, anger, and more you know it’s the right thing to do (very Christ-Like). He wants you to basically be a martyr for the light side, MIB wants you to be an attack dog for the dark side. So where do your loyalties lie? Will you breeze through with plenty of food, companionship, and power but be willing to grape-smash babies heads? Will you suffer loss and pain to “do the right thing” regardless of what you may lose? At the end, one of your side wins, but it is revealed that the golden light is actually a room where all of the people who have “died” on the Island are kept in suspended animation. When the conflict is resolved, you are put on the plane/boat/scouting trip and you never go to the island. Your finish your life and that’s the end. Good job. Way to go. THAT’LL DO PIG!

What It Really Is: WHO KNOWS. That’s right, the one question that seems to be the most important. Why is the Island here, what’s it’s purpose? Well that’s open to your interpretation. What a fuckin COP OUT. To me that means “I’m not sure that we have an answer that won’t piss people off, so we’ll just let them all fill in the blanks. What assholes.

These aren’t all of my questions, but they are the 2 biggest ones. So in the end Jack kills MIB, who was made mortal by Desmond’s removal of the stone plug. Jack dies, Hurley takes over the job of “Island Protector.” Ben stays with Hurley, because he loves the Island so much. Kate, Sawyer, Claire, Enis the Ghost Whisperer, Lapidus, and newly mortal Richard all fly away in a very langolier fashion (crumbling runway, etc). No resolution. Nothing is shown as to what happens to them. We see that they all eventually die, as they meet in the “Church of All and Nothing”. Even Hurley, who by drinking the water, should have been immortal. Maybe this is 100 years down the road, and he names someone else and just jumps his large ass off of a cliff, maybe the one weakness for an immortal is diabetes… who knows? So there ya go, in the end, very few leave the island alive, and many questions remain unanswered, but they ALL GET TO GO TO HEAVEN!!!! YAY FOR JESUS!

Here’s just a run down of my “Unanswered Questions” off the top of my head:

What is the golden light in the cave? Is it the essence of good, hence why it kept the EVIL locked in?

Why doesn’t MIB have a name? Eons and this mother fucker never said, “Seriously, just call me Bob.”

Why is “Church of All and Nothing” Aaron (Claire’s kid, who we knew got to at least the age of 4) still a FUCKIN INFANT? Did this kid never do anything greater in his life. This is as important as he ever was?

Why did Jack imagine he had a son with Juliet? Why was he so easily accepting that he didn’t actually have a son after his flash? He just doesn’t care?

If MIB could only take on the shape of bodies of dead people, why didn’t he ever come back as any of the other dead characters, including JACOB? Wouldn’t that have been easiest? Jacob dies at Ben’s hand and so MIB takes on his shape and leads all of his little sheeple, like Jack, to the hole and tell them they needed to pull the stone plug out?

What was the purpose of Desmond being able to withstand the electro-magnetic flux (Whidmore’s reason for him being brought back)? What did he ever do that had anything to do with this?

Why does everyone left on the Island get resolution except for Desmond? He just wants to be with Penny, but no he gets stuck on the island. When the fuck is his turn, Brotha?

What’s the deal with the inability for fetuses to come to term? All women except for Sun had miscarriages. Why?

Why did Walt show up as a ghost? He was taller, but did this assume he died?

Why wasn’t Walt and Micheal, Ana Lucia, Danielle, Alex, etc at this elitist meeting in the church? In fact, why wasn’t Vincent? Because Disney taught us that ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN.

The purpose of this blog was just for me to get it out of my head. I am sure that some of you will agree with me. Based on the sheer amount of blind love that has been shown to this hunk of shit on other message boards, etc, I am sure someone will stumble across this and flame the fuck outta me. But guess what? With this ending of the show, I too end my obsession. I am done with all things Lost. I put it away. I am over it, and I don’t care anymore.

If you aren’t, just wait, it was released today that if you buy the Season 6 DVD/BluRay Super Awesome edition, it’s gonna have 20+ more minutes of “answers”. Well, I waited for their answers, I wasn’t satisfied. I have re-ran this script in my mind with my changes. I like mine better.

Good night, Losties.

One last time, please James… SON OF A BITCH!!!!

Comics, Nargles, Zombies, and Movie Quotes

So in the last 7 days I have had a great time for the first time in a while.

My sister gave me my Birthday present early. I got a year subscription to www.marvel.com . Please note that this means I have UNLIMITED DIGITAL COPIES of comics from way back to nearly current. One of the coolest and most well thought gifts I have ever got. I have the best Sister in the world. She doesn’t get told enough, but I love her and I don’t know what I would do without her.

I got to have dinner and movie with my favorite family (outside of my own). The Darkling was there, which is awesome. He makes me act like a teenager. The kid is amazing. Upon receipt of a bag of Starburst, X immediately layed out the “Dad” chant of “Don’t eat those before dinner or you won’t eat.” The boy responds, “Ok.” Upon entering the room 5 mins later, he already has a small pile of wrappers, as he shows me his funny comments on Google Maps for places like Little Caesars Pizza. He plays DC vs MK on the 360, while I bitch about how Superman could never get “Get Over Here”-d by Scorpion, or why Hal Jordan doesn’t get to make a giant hammer and splat Johnny Cage. Mogwai came out of her room long enough to take the offering of Skittles, a vegi-burger, and then she was gone again. I seem to remember that being the common actions of a teenage girl (regardless of how many times a little brother knocks and requests entry). X and Cootie were of course awesome hosts. They smooch and adore each other a lot. I don’t mind it because I can tell that it is 100% honest and truthful, it’s refreshing from a standpoint of every relationship I have been in has been a web of lies. We watched the first half of a 70′s killer bee b-movie with Sir Michael Caine (one of my fav British actors) until the Wii-Netflix got caught in some sort of time loop. These friday nights have been deemed Nargles due to another 70′s movie (I can never remember the names) that had these little dwarf people who I instantly termed Nargles. They aren’t the invisible, mischief-loving creatures from Potter’s world. These are beady-red eyed lil bastards that are slaves to the giant thin man. Trust me, you should check it out. So born was Nargles, the term for movies that we watch in the instant queue from Netflix. Usually Horror, usually older than I am, and always infinitely awesome.

Saturday was my Dad, Mom, and I being wheeled and dealed by a carnival barker at the Dirt Mall. He talked us all out of a little bit of money, but we walked away with a bunch of knock off shit (Ginsu, Shamwow, Slap Chop) and a DeWalt palm sander w/ bag attachment for my dad for Father’s Day. Got help from my Sis to clip CVD’s nails. Felt bad about his displeasure of this, so I went out and spent $25 on treats for him. Came home, and played WOW with my guild (Bradford, Anthony, Drewcifer), and passed out on the couch.

Sunday was a day of Wal-Mart and Sam’s Club with the Parents, beef on the grill, my first “Pickleback” (whiskey and dill pickle juice. It’s amazing, so don’t even scowl), and then a little WOW.

Monday morning I placed an order for a refurbished DELL computer, 2 gigs of RAM, 360 GB HD, 2.4 G Intel Celeron processor, and DVD burner. I got it from www.cedarPC.com check them out. They refurbish old comps, and sell them for great cheap prices. If you don’t need speakers, keyboards, monitors, etc, it can be a great deal. Got mine for $130. The one problem is that they are first come first serve, and not in any way custom. That means that I am now the proud owner of a Purple faced Dell. So far, I love it. New to Window’s Vista, so I am still feeling around, but it’s fast, and easy to use, and very quiet. Monday day I went to work. It sucked. Next.

Tuesday was another early B-Day present. See I have very few true friends. 2 of them are married to each other. They started dating because I stood her up for a date and she wanted something to still do since she had found a babysitter. Now they’re married, have their first child together (who’s adorable), and live relatively close to me. Unfortunately, we don’t get to hang out so much because Phil’s got odd hours working in a motorcycle shop, moonlighting in his garage as a mechanic (he’s went to school for it). Tanielle is going to school (graduated today! Congrats, T) then when she’s home, she’s a mommy. Well for one night, we were fuckin kids again. Phil and I used to roadie for a rock band in town. They were a great bunch of guys but like most of the bands out there, they had commitment issues and broke up. While they were going, Philly and I would carry all of their shit, set up stuff, get waters, bang groupies (haha I wish), and stand around looking menacingly at any drunk assholes (easy to do when we each stand 6’5″+ and 275+ lbs). It was a great time of my life, because I love music and it allowed me to be near that scene. So Tuesday night we (Philly, Tanielle, T’s Mom, Drewcifer, and myself) went and saw Alice Cooper and Rob Zombie in concert. It was pure, metal, mind fucking, rock and roll. Cooper puts on the greatest stage show (cheesy special effects and ACTING), and I am happy that I got to see him perform in my life. Zombie was in a word, FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC. I couldn’t rip my eyes from the stage as he went through a lot of my favorite White/Rob Zombie songs, with Hentai, B&W horror movies, Suspiria-esque lighting, pentacles, fire, and a GIANT FUCKING ROBOT! I re-affirmed my love for Zombie that night. Since then, I have not been able to stop singing/humming/whistling…

Mars Needs Women…

Angry Red Women.

Heh. As X said today, it’s the cheesiest line and makes no sense, but goddamn it’s catchy. Thank you again for the awesome birthday Phil and Tanielle, I will never forget that show. I had such a good time, that I chose NOT to punch the Peyton Manning jersey-wearing douche bag that spilt his beer down my back. As easy as I could have beat the fuck out of him, nothing could have ruined that night. Came home and played some WOW with Drewcifier to try to wind-down from the natural high of a great concert.

Wednesday morning was more WOW with Drewcifier, we were joined late by Bradford. We left, and spent the entire drive to get my car talking about and quoting Holy Grail, 40 Yr Old Virgin, Knocked Up, The Hangover, Role Models, etc. I click with that kid like no one else. We are very much alike. He is physically the exact opposite of me, but mentally, we’re the brain trust of our family (Scary, huh?) I bought a new book (Zombie Combat Manual), played some WOW and took a nap with CVD, WOW in the eve, then off to bed.

Today, my comp came. I have spent the last 5 hours re-installing everything that I need. WOW, BitTorrent, Blog roll, RSS Feeds (Thanks Mena for the explanation), setting short cuts, home pages, iTunes, ringtone creator, Big Bang Season 3, etc. So far, I love my purple computer. I think I will name it Baron Zemo. Or take X’s suggestion and paint the shell bright ass green, and make it look like the Joker would want it.

I have had a fuckin good week. I hope you all have too. Now if I could just get laid….

Until next time, True Believers…

I have never understood why people don’t want to be chosen for Jury Duty. I would love it. I have waited and waited, but as of yet, I have not been chosen. First the Jews, now the Government? When lord, when’s gonna be my time!?! I don’t wanna get chosen for one of those shitty day courts either. I wanna be a juror for this century’s Scopes Trial. I wanna be sequestered (Tell me, did the Ramones start playing in your head? They did in mine) for at least a week. No contact with anyone, media black-out, free room and board, plus PAY! What’s not to love about that? Maybe this all stems from that movie with Pauly Shore…

Y’know what I hate? People who have no idea what they are talking about, but force other people to listen to their inane bullshit. I mean sure, I may ramble, I may even say things wrong. The difference is that you have to come to me. I am not forcing my opinion on you. The people that usually have the most bullshit opinions are ususally the ones that know the least about the subject to. I remember as a child waking up on Sunday morning and all you want is cartoons (this was before The Disney Channel or Cartoon Network kiddies, we had 5 channels and that included PBS). The problem? There’s no fucking cartoons on Sunday. Instead I have to choke down my Cocoa Pebbles while listening to a pinch-faced, walking stroke victim berate people who don’t believe or send money to him. So for a bit of a learned lesson, if someone says “Hi, I am a professional painter, I deal with painting all day, I can tell the different colors of paint by taste alone,” don’t be the asshole that tries to tell them that they are doing it wrong. It makes people hate you. It makes me hate you, which admittedly isn’t hard, but still.

Why in the fuck has this oil spill not been stopped. Like, it boggles my fuckin mind that there is not some sort of fail safe that makes it STOP PUMPING OIL. I mean really? Are the oil companies so cocky that they are like “Our shit is tough, it won’t break.” Now they’re like “Well it broke, so we need possibly 90 days to ‘TRY’ to fix it.” I mean really? That’s a worse exit strategy than Iraq. Look, I am all for drilling in America, I don’t care. I am a consumer, through and through. I don’t give 2 fucks about the world after I die. I don’t and probably will not have a legacy left behind. Drill here, make gas cheap, do it. But have the common sense enough to make a fail safe. I mean this fuckin government MAKES me wear a seatbelt or they fine me, but there isn’t a requirement for oil rig fail safes? I saw a report saying that there are MULTIPLE products designed to prevent this exact thing from happening, but they chose not to use them. Probably cost ratio. Dumb fucks. I hope it gets fixed, I want gas back to a managable price. Plus I like seals and shit. Y’know what my dad uses when oil is on the garage floor?

Someone call Tidy Cat!

So I think I may have a touch of depression. This is completely self diagnostic, but I may be right. I don’t wanna do anything. I would rather just sit somewhere and write, draw, or just stare blankly at the wall. I prefer the company of my dog to the company of people (except for X, Cootie, Drew, My Sister, Ant, and my Mom). I have all kinds of ideas of things I could do, but I have neither the means, nor the drive to accomplish them. It sucks, maybe I need some medicine…

Think about the money that these 3 people have.

Carlos Slim Helú – $53.5 Bil

William Gates III -$53 Bil

Warren Buffett – $47 Bil

That is $153.5 Bil net worth. Lets put that in perspective. Worlds most expensive plane? Stealth Bomber $1.8 Bil, Most expensive piece of sculpture? Alberto Giacometti’s – Walking Man 1 – priced at $104.3 Million. The average salary of a New York Yankee’s Player? $7 Million. Denver Colorado’s Gross Metropolitan Product last year? $145.6 Bil. These 3 fuckers are worth more than an ENTIRE CITY/COUNTY made last year, and a large city at that. These are just the top 3. So here’s my question? Why the fuck is there poverty in this world? Why is there disease? Why are there wars? Why the hell hasn’t someone built an Iron Man suit? Honestly? Through all of the ridiculous amounts of money that these people have, no one can pay to have the best minds come together and fix shit? Bull. Greed, people, greed.

Well that’s all I have for tonight. I am off to sleep. And props to X, who’s picture idea I totally ripped off, but it makes me laugh. Peep his movie blog here http://bettergeekthannever.wordpress.com/ he’s at least 10 times funnier than I am.

Salutations.

WOW A Blog!

Well, I know it’s been some time since I rolled out a new blog. My friend reminded me that in all of the “Wootingness” of getting the internet (not just on my phone) I still had not put up a blog. She’s right. I have no excuse. It’s pure laziness and my newfound addiction to WOW.

That’s right, motherfuckers. My nerd penis got just a smidge bigger. I’ve been on for a little over a month. So far I have a Lv 51, a Lv 29, and a Lv 28. Variety is the spice of life. Not much else has been going on.

I feel like my job is dragging me down. I leave there every day and just want to scream until my throat tears. One positive is that I have an afternoon carpooler, in X. It definately makes the first half of the drive home much more enjoyable. We talk about random bullshit, movies, people we hate, things we like, just shoot the shit for a nice 20 min drive. It makes me feel almost human.

My mom is still doin ok, she’s on a steady medication and we are all hopeful that it helps. Her and dad are closer, and it seems to frustrate mom that she can’t do things like she used to, but it’s nice to see my parents spending time with each other. I really wish I could send them on the Alaskan cruise that they have wanted for years. Maybe I can sell a kidney or a testicle.

Not like I currently have a use for my testicles. We were at a family function and my cousin (the douchey one that no one likes)’s wife was there. She is adorable, for a midget. She said that she was working on finding me a girlfriend. My immediate response “I don’t want one.” Now, understand that I love women. I love sex, I love waking up next to someone. I just really really don’t give a large enough shit about being with anyone right now. I guess maybe I have had shitty luck. The relationships I have had weren’t good. So this leads me to not wanting to even waste the fuckin energy anymore. I’ll keep you posted.

Charlie is doing good, he’s as rotten as ever. He isn’t bad when it’s just him and I, but if I have anyone over, he turns into a little asshole. My dad said that he’s my monster and that he’s going to call the Dog Whisperer. If some little Spanish guy shows up to talk about my dog like he understands him completely, I may go “Gacy” don’t worry, I’ll post pics.

I really am working on getting my basement cleaned up and getting some shit thrown out. Anyone got a spare dumpster? I wanna be able to entertain some guests, maybe cook out, who knows. Just gotta buckle down and do it.

I planted a garden. Actually 3 gardens. Or patches? Patches I think. I have a cantalope patch, a strawberry patch, and a large pepper patch. WOOOO. So far so good. Everything has broke ground, the pepper plants got topped by some goddamn deer that are obviously challenging me to “Bambi’s Mother” them.

Saw Iron Man 2 and Kick-Ass. 2 of my must see movies for the summer. I was 100% impressed with both of them. Go see them. They are good. I was never a big Iron Man comics fan, I read some Avengers and I kept familiar with the ‘goings-on” of Tony Stark, but I was always more into X-Men. Something about the movies though, damn I wanna be Iron Man. Hey, Happy Hogan got to wear the goddamn suit, why not me?

So that’s all that’s going on in my life. I really don’t have much to talk about. I am thinking of (re)starting a blog-by-chapter story, but I am not sure I have the drive. I have good ideas, but I am not sure I wanna follow through.