Well, its been a couple of days since my last post. Things are going great. My love and I are gooey in love. I have great friends and family. Life is pretty damn good. I’m trying to liquidate some old car parts and got a text today about a guy who is interested in the biggest piece. We’ll see how that turns out. Hope to test drive my car as soon as next weekend. Fingers crossed.
That’s it lovelies. How are you doing?
Love
Today is my 28th birthday. I was born on May 25th 1982. I like my birth year, because it makes subtraction easy for when I forget how old I am. I like the day because I share it with a great man. My sister began dating a guy when we lived in South Knoxville. His name was Robby. I was a young impressionable kid. I had never been around an older guy besides my father, grandfathers, uncles, etc. Robby was a big guy. Yes I mean this in a figurative way, he was very overweight. He was also bigger than life. He drove a big ass tank of a car. It had speakers that would rattle the windows of the house. He smiled a lot. He had the most peculiar laugh. More of a titter, a tee hee, but with a giggle. He was in high school at Gatlinburg-Pittman. He was so cool, and I instantly had a “big brother”. I did the annoying little brother thing of trying to hang around all of the time. I know it got on my sisters nerves, but Rob never seemed to mind. At least maybe in my idolizing mind, it just seemed that way. Rob would joke, he would cut up, he would rib me. He was also terrified of my dad and respectful of my mom. He and my sister dated for a long time. They broke up, got back together, and broke up over and over. A typical high school relationship. Unfortunately, it was destined to not work out. Though Rob was around for a long time, they eventually split for good, but stayed in contact and remained good friends. He still loved her, I could tell that later in the years when he would talk about her.
My favorite thing about Rob “The Boyfriend Years” – Rob, was a huge football fan. He knew the entire roster of the New Orleans Saints. It blew my mind that he rooted for a team that he had no connection to. He is the reason I found it ok to root for Alabama in a house full of Tennessee fans. So because he was a Saints fan, I became a Saints fan. I got a roster pack of trading cards. When he showed up one day, I thought “Boy, Rob is gonna think this is cool!” So I pulled out the cards, said, “Hey Rob, check it out. I got these cards, it even has a Bobby Hebert card.” Now when I said this, I said it as HE-BURT, instead of with the appropriate “Nawlins” dialect of AI-BEAR. Rob began to laugh, and I swear it lasted for 30 minutes. From that point on, I was Bert. Like Reynolds or Lancaster. He never called me Mark, Markie, etc. It was always Bert. For those first couple of weeks it was Bert, followed by the tittering laugh.
Rob always battled his weight issue. It eventually got to the point that he was unable to drive and spent a lot of time in his house. I hadn’t stayed in constant contact with him, but we reconnected after I moved up to Pigeon Forge and began working at a hotel. I hung out with him a lot. I talked to him on the phone, he was my family away from family. I would spend entire days at his house, watching TV, messing with people on WebTV chat, smoking, and talking. We talked about all kinds of stuff. We were the “What If…” types of guys. “Dude, wouldn’t it be cool if…”
Rob got his first computer, a Dell. I introduced him to file sharing. We downloaded so much music that first week. We must have went through a 20 pack of CDs. He would laugh at the random movie quotes that I would put in between songs. That was mostly what the computer was used for. Downloading music, mostly old skool R&B, Rap, some Rock, new Hip Hop, and movie quotes. We’d sometimes go out in his SUV. A Chevy Suburban with a 454. He couldn’t drive, but I could. He’d sit in the passenger seat, we’d get it washed, then burn a tank of gas driving around, listening to music, visiting his friends, and such. That truck was a fuckin beast. It had so much power and he loved showing off to people. We’d sit in his house, smoke, bullshit, mess with his cats Druff (A white cat, as in Dandruff) and Sooty (A black cat, as in coal soot) and just be friends. He stopped just being my sister’s ex. He became my friend. He was there for me no matter what.
I went to a party on Ski Mountain. It was my 3 girl friend’s birthdays, all being celebrated together. The first night, my friend Sarah (where do I start) got very drunk. I literally had to watch over her, as there were less than savory guys that were attempting to use this to their advantage. I didn’t drink, just so someone had a level head. Well, technically Stace didn’t drink either, but that’s because she was like 7 months pregnant. The place got DESTROYED. There were fights, naked drunk girls passed out everywhere, the pool balls were thrown into the woods, the hot tub had no water left in it, but some yellowish fluids with shit floating in it. The next night was supposed to be chill, take it down a notch. Next thing you know, this girl who I loved for years and would do anything for is topless in a hot tub making out with a guy that she didn’t know, oblivious to the risk she was taking. I lost it. I couldn’t watch it. I left. It was 4 in the morning, raining, and I was in a Mini-Van. Needless to say I slid most of the way down Ski Mountain. I got into Gatlinburg and thought “Well shit, now what am I gonna do? I can’t go home, it’s too late/early.” (Dad’s rule) I called Rob. “Dude, can I come over, I have had a shitty night and I just need a space to crash for a couple of hours.” 10 mins later, we’re sitting in his living room, smokin a bit, so I would calm down. Rambling about how much I love her and how she couldn’t give a shit about it. How I will always be stuck in the “Friend Zone”. Rob told me, I’ll never forget it, that “Bert, you have to make her realize. You need to tell her. You can’t let that stay like it is, it’ll bother you forever.” He went back to bed and I curled up in his oversized leather recliner and went to sleep. The next day, I didn’t take his advice. Hell, I still haven’t taken his advice. Never did tell her. Too late now, we don’t speak. He was right, of course. As painful as the possibility of rejection is, I wish I would have taken that advice and just told her. For the record, it still does bother me.
When I needed $500 bucks to get an engine for a car, Rob had it. “No problem, Bert, come over after work.” He was a giver. He would do anything for me. I could have asked him for anything and if it was in his power, I have no doubt that he would have done it.
Rob got gastric bypass. He dropped weight like crazy. Unfortunately, he got an infection and on February 22, 2004 Rob passed away. I had moved jobs, and moved houses. I wasn’t in contact with him like I had been. I didn’t even know he was sick. I never got to say goodbye to him. It still bothers me. I have never grieved for him. I think it’s because I never got to tell him thank you for all that he did, so I’ve never wanted to accept it. The way he influenced my life, the great times we had. His sage like advice followed up with a “Shruh Shruh Shruh” and a flutter of the hand. His crazy fuckin neighbor, code-named ”3D or Da Da Dee” for the way that he would trail off and instead of saying “Etcetera” he’d say “Da Da Dee, Da Da Daa” The Burban. The LX Mustang (LX_Tasy). The Cordoba. The cats. His crazy family. His love of my sister. The fact that I don’t think we ever had an argument (outside of him bitchin at me for being mean to Tish when I was younger). I wish I could have had the chance to tell him that he was a great person. I am sorry that he had to go. I don’t know if I believe in any afterlife, but if there is one I hope I get to see him again…
Daniel Robert Ogle would have been 34 today. Happy Birthday, Robby. I miss you.
- Bert
Well, I know it’s been some time since I rolled out a new blog. My friend reminded me that in all of the “Wootingness” of getting the internet (not just on my phone) I still had not put up a blog. She’s right. I have no excuse. It’s pure laziness and my newfound addiction to WOW.
That’s right, motherfuckers. My nerd penis got just a smidge bigger. I’ve been on for a little over a month. So far I have a Lv 51, a Lv 29, and a Lv 28. Variety is the spice of life. Not much else has been going on.
I feel like my job is dragging me down. I leave there every day and just want to scream until my throat tears. One positive is that I have an afternoon carpooler, in X. It definately makes the first half of the drive home much more enjoyable. We talk about random bullshit, movies, people we hate, things we like, just shoot the shit for a nice 20 min drive. It makes me feel almost human.
My mom is still doin ok, she’s on a steady medication and we are all hopeful that it helps. Her and dad are closer, and it seems to frustrate mom that she can’t do things like she used to, but it’s nice to see my parents spending time with each other. I really wish I could send them on the Alaskan cruise that they have wanted for years. Maybe I can sell a kidney or a testicle.
Not like I currently have a use for my testicles. We were at a family function and my cousin (the douchey one that no one likes)’s wife was there. She is adorable, for a midget. She said that she was working on finding me a girlfriend. My immediate response “I don’t want one.” Now, understand that I love women. I love sex, I love waking up next to someone. I just really really don’t give a large enough shit about being with anyone right now. I guess maybe I have had shitty luck. The relationships I have had weren’t good. So this leads me to not wanting to even waste the fuckin energy anymore. I’ll keep you posted.
Charlie is doing good, he’s as rotten as ever. He isn’t bad when it’s just him and I, but if I have anyone over, he turns into a little asshole. My dad said that he’s my monster and that he’s going to call the Dog Whisperer. If some little Spanish guy shows up to talk about my dog like he understands him completely, I may go “Gacy” don’t worry, I’ll post pics. 
I really am working on getting my basement cleaned up and getting some shit thrown out. Anyone got a spare dumpster? I wanna be able to entertain some guests, maybe cook out, who knows. Just gotta buckle down and do it.
I planted a garden. Actually 3 gardens. Or patches? Patches I think. I have a cantalope patch, a strawberry patch, and a large pepper patch. WOOOO. So far so good. Everything has broke ground, the pepper plants got topped by some goddamn deer that are obviously challenging me to “Bambi’s Mother” them.
Saw Iron Man 2 and Kick-Ass. 2 of my must see movies for the summer. I was 100% impressed with both of them. Go see them. They are good. I was never a big Iron Man comics fan, I read some Avengers and I kept familiar with the ‘goings-on” of Tony Stark, but I was always more into X-Men. Something about the movies though, damn I wanna be Iron Man. Hey, Happy Hogan got to wear the goddamn suit, why not me?
So that’s all that’s going on in my life. I really don’t have much to talk about. I am thinking of (re)starting a blog-by-chapter story, but I am not sure I have the drive. I have good ideas, but I am not sure I wanna follow through.
Well just when things started smoothing out again, more turbulence. I won’t go into details, because honestly not all of the details are out yet. Basically, my mother has been diagnosed with an illness that will severely hamper and shorten her life. My mother has always been my rock. She stuck up for me when my dad would get pissed. She has always been there for me. I know I am not young anymore, but my mother is still a young woman. She is 52, and I can’t imagine losing her in the next 10 years. What if I don’t have a wife (who isn’t an untrustworthy liar) and a kid by then? It honestly fucking scares me to think about losing my mother. It also pisses me off. To me it proves with finality the non-existence of a divine being. Either that, or if there is a divine being, he/she is a prick and doesn’t care about us. My mom has led a good life, she gets up early every morning to watch a specific bible study, she volunteers, and regardless of the assholes at work being, well, assholes to her CONSTANTLY, she always helps them if she can. I know this is a part of life that everyone has to deal with, it’s just that I didn’t expect it so soon. It makes me think about my own morality. Don’t take it for granted. I regret everytime I hurt my mother when I was growing up as a know it all asshole. If I could I would take it back. I would gladly trade my life for hers, because while she helps and people depend on her, the same can’t be said for me. Don’t waste any time people, don’t let unresolved issues keep you from those you love. Tell these people how much you love them. I know I will be expressing that to my mom, I hope there will be something that can help her. I don’t want to lose my mother. It’s not fair…
